Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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