the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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