honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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