i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
