i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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