i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
