erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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