Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
