you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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