I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
