Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
