He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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