this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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