i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I need water and some morals
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
