He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize