She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
