Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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