She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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