You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
