why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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