God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
