I want to have your abortion
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
