Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
