it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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