2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
