On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
