No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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