You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
