I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Say something about gay babies.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
