Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize