Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Your penis caused this!
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