Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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