I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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