Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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