Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
