Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
