I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
