He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
