i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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