Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
