I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My vagina just clenched in fear
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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