also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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