I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.