youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.