you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home