I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
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He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
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I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.