fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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