Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
one might say we're banned from that church
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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