Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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