hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
