Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
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