she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
