this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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