Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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