I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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