the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
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