She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
