My friends, they love my intelligence
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
