Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize