so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
