What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
