There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
