Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
