And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize