I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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