You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
